A Big Success

Today Daniel used the toilet in a store while we were out today. It was his own idea, and he asked a clerk where the potty was.  She clearly had never been involved in potty training (I guess her own!) so she didn't understand his word choice or our urgency. Even though he felt very concerned about the Loud Flush Potty, he did it.  Which is great, since he had a large amount of iced tea and was wearing (regular!) undies with a plain diaper cover over it.  Way to go, buddy!  I was most impressed that he asked someone else FIRST, and then told me where we needed to go.  He's starting to listen to his body signals and take action!

Potty Training Post #1

Maybe there will be several of these posts, or maybe not.

But I feel I must share the bizarre turn of events that occurred this morning.

I changed DHH from his night time cloth diaper (an Econobum cover, Flip organic insert, and small microfiber insert) at about 8 AM this morning.  It had been on for 12 hours, and if he had it his way, he'd have kept it on longer.  
Of course it was wet - but not SO much so.
Of course it was smelly - its toddler urine, which reeks of ammonia.

I have been saying, "Its time to change from your night diaper.  Let's clean you off and keep your bum healthy." I am saying it in my most cheerful, non-confrontational way.
He has been saying, "NOOOOOOOO diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie-per change!" and doing a fit.
Then we do a Sit On The Naughty Bench For Your Unnecessary Tantrum And Calm The Heck Down song and dance.  And then change the diaper like its NBD. (No big deal, a phrase I am trying to bring back into common language!)

So during that morning it was a normal, at home morning.  Play dough cookie making, reading books about excavators and motor graders, a foam sticker craft, and miscellaneous housework.  About the time I was sitting down to fold a load of clothes, he said:

"Mommy, its potty time."

I asked if he needed help, but he said no.
I watched him run to get a step stool.
I heard him put it down in the bathroom and say, "Huh." I could tell he needed to be reminded about the next thing to do.
"Take off those pants, DeeDee."
"Okay."
"Now unsnap that diaper."
"Yeah. Do it self."

A moment later, there was a flush, followed by hand-washing noises.
He raced into the room and requested his "Blue potty training Ms".

He ate his candy and went about his day as if it was NBD.

This was a parenting success because :
a) He was the one in charge of the whole process
b) I trusted him enough to do it alone and didn't interfere
c) There was no power struggle involved

I won't lie, I've been a bit stressed over this life-skill for DHH.  We've been doing potty learning and communication forEVER (since 13 months) and he goes from dry diapers to dry undies to fits about wearing undies to refusing undies to diapers to wet undies.

Great Stuff from Dee Dee's Morning, Sept 12

This morning after our breakfast together, Daniel looked at me and said, "Dee Dee SOO happy."  What a heart melter.  Its true he got cream cheese AND almond butter AND jelly on his waffle and that we had a dark chocolate square for breakfast-dessert.  But I think maybe he was so happy because we were sitting together for breakfast and having great conversation.

We did dry undies all morning and he was so proud of this.  He beamed as he told me they were dry!

We discussed getting some new construction tractor toys.  He wants them and seemed like he would go for "selling binkies to buy new tractor toys".  He actually SAID THOSE WORDS!

He also keeps getting after me to watch him play.  I do a little chore here and there and have to go back in and watch for a few minutes.  Its great he wants the extra attention, I think.  Especially while sister is asleep!

Potty Chair... Over 6 Months In

We had to give up Potty Chair time for at least 8 weeks.  It was causing too many power struggles, wails, and frustrations.  

He: Just wanted to get in the bath already.  Bath time is his best play time of the day.  Potty chair was a road block, even if it was utilized properly.

Us: Wanted him to continue this developmental milestone.  Ended up deciding hatred of potty chair was ineffective way to reach milestone.

Now that Daniel has grown a bit and is starting to understand consequences (and REMEMBER them!), we are back at it again.  He is also better able to communicate diaper needs/issues with us... or at least understand the concepts of changing diapers and washing them.  He is able to select a diaper to wear and also seems ashamed of poop diapers, like he would rather not have had them.

Getting back on the potty chair horse:

First step:  Sitting on chair = one M and M.  This is a huge motivator for him.  Worked well the first night.

Next step: Sitting on chair for at least 5 seconds = one M and M.  Worked second night.  We actually got him to sit for over a minute reading one of his Potty Only Books.

Next Steps:  Using potty = one M and M.  Continue to give one for sitting though if its before bath time.  Will increase number of times we recommend he use the potty.

Next time... we will start earlier than one year.  Probably 6-8 months to get a normal feeling.  Will start more communication and rewards about 12-15 months. Will use potty first thing in morning rather than introduce it at night time.  Will not have expectation of success.  Will have expectation of "its our routine, you can do it.".

Potty Chair: 4 Months In

We've tried many things with the potty that were successful as well as a few things that did not work for Daniel.

First, it was successful for him to associate relaxing and sitting patiently for several minutes at a time.  We read a few books - the same books - each time.  We've had four potty books so far, and I think its best if they stay potty books and not regular reading books!  He has had a few very high high interest books Five Green and Speckled Frogs, Grover and The Everything in the Whole Wide World Museum, 100 Vehicles Picture Dictionary, and the most recent favorite is Richard Scary's Best Little Word Book.  Having these books as potty only were a good idea because they are "saved" for this purpose and if he brings one to us, he has to go read it on the potty.

Another successful thing has been doing potty no matter what.  I think that helped with routine.  That its just what we do with the diaper is off.

Somethings that weren't helpful were doing potty if he had a very fussy dinner.  Or, if he was too excited about his bath.  This made it a tug of war to keep him on the potty.  Even if he did go, he was likely to cry and be so angry that we were delaying his favorite part of day - bath.  This change happened at the time we switched to one nap and the same time his little fits started.  It was just too much to manage for him in terms of controlling his emotions!  So we've switched night time potty time to about twenty minutes after bath, just before bed.  He wears a prefold diaper right before potty and then switches to a more substantial night time diaper.

Another thing that is helpful is allowing him to pour the contents of the potty into the toilet and flush.  He is only allowed to flush toilets for this purpose.  He really, really likes this part.  There are occasional spills, but that is okay.

Having him clean his potty chair with Clorox wipes has been really helpful, too.  We just started doing this in the fourth month.  DHH really likes to help, and this often sparks interest in going to the bathroom.

Something that is not helpful, but I have not remedied the problem yet, is that we don't do potty chair until mid morning, after breakfast and about 15 ounces of milk/juice/water.  I think it would be very effective to do this straight away from the crib. However, I do not go and wake up Daniel, so he has usually been awake for awhile and has probably already had a morning pee.  I think it would be much better for us to change him from the wet diaper, do potty, and then have a fresh diaper for the morning.  I have not done this though, and I admit, we are usually so hungry for breakfast or interested in cuddling and reading that I don't want to do this chore.  

Another thing that is not helpful is communicating a message of pooping on the toilet.  I cannot communicate this with him.  He cannot do it with me.  He can pretty much pee on command, but I don't see how we'll be able to try this until he can talk better.

Another negative to early training is his lack of ability to take off his own clothes.  Sometimes he sits on the potty with all his clothes on.   I think his brain associates sitting on it and going, but the part of undressing is an extra step that he physically can't do and might be too hard for him to remember this.  I think this will happen in a few months, since he is getting better and better at helping to dress himself.

And here are some funny photos.  He gets so excited about this fish lamp from my mom at Christmas.  We used it in the bathroom for a short time as a distraction before bath to get him to use the potty.  He screamed and squealed in delight. He loves this thing.  He wasn't very calm on it, though, and I think it didn't really work too effectively. When he found the power switch that was all he concentrated on.  It was really funny to us while it lasted!

Potty Chair: Week 5

He is going almost every night, often immediately after he sits himself on the chair.

We have two books we've been reading him each time, and usually his attention span is through 1.5 books.  The first book is a singing book, Five Green and Speckled Frogs and the second is a picture dictionary book of vehicles.  Daniel is really engaged in these stories and does hand motions or singings along with the pictures.  He strums an imaginary guitar when he sees a frog with a guitar, and he also tries to catch bugs with his tongue.  He makes engine noises with the cars and does hand motions for helicopters.  This is one of the only times per day that all three of us are involved in one book all together.  It is certainly an interesting sight, I am sure with all of us crowded in the bathroom floor!

I feel positive about this potty learning experience, and I do believe we will start doing potty next week in the morning - either after breakfast or just after he wakes.  The goal is still day trained by Spring 2010.

Potty Chair: Week 4

This week was a real hit or miss week for toilet time.  One time he peed on the floor near the big toilet, not in the potty chair.  Other times he just didn't go after sitting for several minutes.

I reread the Baby Whisperer that I use as a parenting manual and realized I might be sending mixed messages.  Why only use the toilet before bath? Why not every time?  I also remembered some things I had read, such as it takes about 20 minutes for urine to process after drinking for this young of a toddler.  So that is helpful.

I am reconsidering potty training until after Christmas, at least with the goal of no diapers during the day by April.   I need him to communicate with me more, and I need to be a more effective communicator with him.  I think we will continue night time potty routine, since it goes so well before bath and it gives him 10 extra reading time minutes a day.  I think it is accomplishing the goal of learning what the potty is and not to be afraid of it.

Potty Chair: Week 3

Even with a lapse of potty chair routine for Saturday night, Daniel hasn't broken his stride of going.  He has used the chair for his urinary business each day, and even surprised us with very smelly excrement another time.  We often cannot tell if he has peed because he is so quiet, so I've learned that if he gets up from the chair and immediately dives into my lap for a hug, that means he's gone.

He also will only use the chair in the bathroom, not other rooms. I suppose this is a healthy boundary!

I am pleasantly surprised by these results and continue to work on elimination communication with him.  He is learning more about patterns in our day and how to express what he wants to do, so this can only help with the process!

Potty Chair: Week 2

Today Daniel used the chair to do his business.  Liquids AND solids.  I think the first time around lunch was a fluke... we were going in the bathroom to put something away, and I got a whim and he sat on the chair.  He stood up and started to pee... so I put him on the chair.  He got pretty freaked out, and stopped.  But there were solids and liquids in the potty's bowl, so I showed him flushing and washing it out.  We clapped and hugged.  He was excited.  Then tonight before bath, the time we consistently put him on the potty chair and force him to sit for two minutes while we look at a tractor and truck book, he did it again.  This time we didn't realize until he got up and was in the bath already.  I noticed the urine, and realized that is why he gave me such a huge hug after he got off the chair!

I think these are lucky happenings, and I don't expect consistent results for another few months.  The books really say that 16-18 months are times of great understanding and communication, and I can tell that as he gets closer to 15 months old, his comprehension is expanding.

Potty Chair: Week 1

This week Daniel sat on the potty chair two or three times per day, always without pants.  When I ask him to go sit on the potty chair, he gets excited and runs into the bathroom.  He sits on it for about thirty seconds, and then I keep asking him to keep sitting.

So far, there have been no waste products in the potty chair, but he is getting used to it and seems enthusiastic about sitting on it.  I wonder what will be the trigger for getting him to use it? Will it be a fluke?

He claps for himself while sitting on the chair, too.  That is really sweet to see.

Hello, Potty Chair.

Today was Daniel's first introduction to a potty.  He sat on it for about five minutes tonight before a bath.  Nothing really happened except he learned how to sit on it and was good at listening to directions to sit down.  It is a friendly looking potty, so perhaps that helps.

It will sit in our bathroom next to the big toilet.  My goal is to start becoming familiar with it every night before bathtime for a week, and then to use it before and after naps.

I feel he is ready for this because he is getting good at listening to and following directions.  He is very good at cause and effect.  He knows other routines, like washing hands and putting laundry in the washing machine.   Also, several books I've read call 10 months to 15 months an ideal window to start potty learning, and from 16 to 20 months is less of a good time since children are learning other things and can be less likely to want to please their parents.

I think cloth diapering has helped with some elimination communication.  He has started tapping his diaper cover after he wets, and he does not do that if he is wearing a paper diaper.